


Still I Love You

by seosoo17



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-31 16:38:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6477841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seosoo17/pseuds/seosoo17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No matter how long it takes, Sungkyu will always loves him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Still I Love You

Hospital- a place where he thought he would never go near it. But destiny has a different story for him, because after high school, destiny had led him to become a successful doctor- that pretty much earned respect and pride from every staffs, nurses, and doctors at the hospital. Friends, family and all his acquaintances were shocked with the outcome, but they will always be happy for him and always cheers him on no matter what the route he takes. So this where Sungkyu is standing now. Wearing his white coat, stethoscope around his neck and with the name of Dr Sungkyu, he’s standing there with his patient, Nam Woohyun.

~~~∞~~~

Nam Woohyun is not a stranger to him. Nam Woohyun is, in fact, his classmate back in the years. A guy who always sat in the front row while Sungkyu lazily sat in the last. A guy that has become the class president, while Sungkyu was just being a normal student who cannot wait to finish his high school years. They were both from a different world. Woohyun was greasy and Sungkyu, well he was cold and couldn’t care less about the entire thing in this world. But they shared the same feeling towards a certain junior- a junior with a hot gaze and visual that can burn the soul of millions girls includes boys. And his name was no other than, Kim Myungsoo.

Kim Myungsoo was cute, sometimes crazy, and sometimes mysterious. That was how Sungkyu had been observing him from far. He was indeed in love with him, but something or better yet someone, blocked his way, because when he was about to confess to the junior, holding a red rose in his hand, he saw something that just crushed his heart away. There he was, standing against a tree with a guy kissing his lips and that guy was indeed Nam Woohyun.

The red rose dropped to the ground and Sungkyu has no intention of picking it up again because he decided to just leave the scene in front of him as fast as possible. It hurts too much. It took time, days and weeks for him to forget about the event. Two days after the scene that he witnessed, he was informed by his friends that Woohyun and Myungsoo had just confirmed to be dating. It turned out that Woohyun managed to confess the day when he saw them kissing under the tree and Myungsoo decided to give Woohyun a chance. Sungkyu was a minute late.

~~~∞~~~

“Hello Woohyun… How are you feeling today?” Sungkyu asked as he noted down the IV test on his board.

“Bad? Worst? I can’t choose” Woohyun replied with an awkward laugh. Sungkyu lifted his head, watching how Woohyun was fidgeting his fingers. He was looking scared- Sungkyu knows. He had been in a situation which is far way worse than this. He dropped the board on the table nearby and walked nearer to his side.

“Hey. You are going to make it. I’ll do my best and give everything to help you Woohyun. So, don’t worry okay?” He smiled, holding Woohyun’s hand in his, giving strength and ensure that he will heal.

Woohyun sighed. “I don’t mind if my time is draining up Sungkyu- he smiled- I just can’t imagine how Myungsoo will take it” He said as he wiped away a droplet of tear that slowly running down his cheek.

“Myungsoo is just a fragile kid. He scared of losing someone and I don’t want him to make a hell out of his life once I’m gone. He deserved to be happy” Woohyun added. His voice sound bitter and Sungkyu knows how much it’s pain him to see someone he dearly loves most, hurts.

Sungkyu thought of a word to make Woohyun believed that he will make it and that he will survive, but nothing was coming out- can he lie to his patient again? He can’t give him false hopes anymore. For a person who is at the stage four of a heart cancer, was hardly impossible to heal. And he believed that Woohyun would probably know his body’s health better than anyone else.

What should I do?

“Woo-”

“Woohyun!” A voice cuts him before he could say anything.

That voice. He knew well the source of the voice coming from because that voice had been singing in his heart for almost years- and still counting. Myungsoo…

“Hi Myung…” Woohyun gave him a bittersweet smile before giving a kiss on the latter cheek, making the younger blushed. He glanced over to Sungkyu but Sungkyu didn’t even move a muscle, still staring the figure that walked pass by him. No matter how many years had passed, Sungkyu’s heart was still beating fast for the younger. His smile, his voice and all about him was just a perfect picture of a dream guy. And unfortunately the stare that Sungkyu gave him didn’t get unnoticed by Woohyun.

The stare… Woohyun thought. It was the same stare that he gave to Myungsoo when he was caught amazed by the younger playfulness, kindness and his sweetness. The same stare when he showed to Myungsoo of how much he loves him.

“How is he today, Dr...”

“… Sungkyu. His name is Sungkyu” Woohyun answered the question, playing in Myungsoo’s mind. Myungsoo smiled and averted his gaze to Sungkyu.

“How is he?” he repeated, holding Woohyun’s hand tightly, not ever wanting to let it go.

Sungkyu was speechless for a moment. What should he say? The truth? Or the sad lies that can ease their heart?

He worked as a doctor long enough to see how the people will react once he told the worst condition of the patient. There was once, he told a little five year old girl that she was going to survive but the girl just smiled. She said that there’s no need to say something that she wanted to believe. She knew better how her condition really was and thanked Sungkyu for trying to make her feel better, but she can accept on what to be her fate. Soon the girl met with her death.

He looked over to Woohyun and he got a sign from him telling him not to tell.

“He will be okay soon, Myungsoo. Don’t worry.” He reassures the younger.

The news made Myungsoo as happy as possible. He quickly jumped and embraced his lover tightly as tears began to fall.

It’s not Myungsoo’s fault to be happy when he heard about the ‘good’ news. Everyone and even Woohyun himself, kept telling him that he needs to be ready if something bad happened one day. Well, Myungsoo doesn’t want to believe. He doesn’t want to believe that one day Woohyun might leave him for good. No… Myungsoo was not ready for that.

“See Woohyun. I told you. You are getting better. You are going to be okay” He cried, burying his head in the crook of Woohyun’s neck.

Woohyun couldn’t say anything and seeing the younger cried, his heart clenched in pain. He let out the tears he was holding back, falling across his cheeks and replied the younger hug before he kissed his forehead and slowly whispered, “I love you Myungsoo”.

~~~∞~~~

Sungkyu went to Woohyun’s room to check on him again. Woohyun was asleep during the checkup, but he can clearly see how Woohyun was getting paler than usual. Sungkyu sighed. To make things worse, Woohyun is not showing any progress at all, in fact, his heart beats kept dropping from time to time, and his energy had been drained up faster than ever.

But Woohyun was lucky because amidst the hardship he was enduring, Myungsoo was always by his side. Giving him strength and spirits to fight the pain. Myungsoo always threw him, smiles, and kisses that Woohyun happily accepted. But sometime Sungkyu caught Myungsoo cried during the time when he was going to the washroom. How he wished to console the younger, but he knew how much pain the younger carried on his shoulder. The feeling of about losing someone you love was indeed unbearable.

“Sun-ngkyu” Woohyun suddenly called, breaking the doctor’s thought. His voice sounded cracked, hurtful and a mix of sadness.

“Yes Woohyun. Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?” Sungkyu asked, feeling a bit worried.

“No. I’m fine –he assured him with a fake smile- C-can I ask you a favor?”

“Anything. I’ll do it within my ability, Woohyun”

“Take good care of Myungsoo, please -he begged, grabbing Sungkyu hands- I don’t want him to feel alone. I want him to move on with his life. To find his happiness. Please, I’m just asking that one favor. Take care of him…”

Sungkyu backed away a little. He was stunned by the younger’s request.

Seeing how Sungkyu didn’t respond, Woohyun used all the energy he had, trying to stand up, but miserably fail and ended up on the floor. Sungkyu was shocked and was about to help him back on his feet, but Woohyun suddenly went kneeling on his knees.

“Please… Do it for me… I l-love him so much, Sungkyu… I love Myungsoo so much”

Sungkyu felt pain in his heart seeing his friend like this.Then, he slowly grabbed Woohyun shoulder, and lifting him back up on the bed with all the force he has.

“I will. I will take care of him. I promise”

“T-thank yy-ou… Thank you so much Sungkyu” He cried, laying his head on Sungkyu’s chest while the doctor rubbed invisible circles on the younger back, consoling that it would be all fine.

“Take care of him for me. I love him so much”

And that was the last.

~~~∞~~~

The rain falls and the bullets sound of the raindrops started dropping from the sky onto the surface of the black umbrellas. Everyone started to leave one by one and soon there were only 6 people left with one of them looking lost as ever.

“Myungsoo. Come. Let’s go…” Sungyeol pursued him, holding the younger shoulder to support.

Myungsoo looked up at Sungyeol for a second before turning back to the stone in front him. “Leave me alone!” He said while his hands cherish the stone and his tears didn’t stop from falling.

NAM WOOHYUN February 8, 1991 - March 13, 2015.

”Hyung… I thought you said you are going to stay with me for-ever… Where’s your p-promise hyung? Why do you have to leave me? Please Hyun, come back…Namu…please come back” He cried, tugging onto the stone.

Woohyun was only the source of his happiness after his parents died in an accident a few years back. Woohyun would always cheer him up when he’s sad and whenever he started to think about his parents again. Woohyun would hug him in the middle of the night when he had nightmares and cried with him till the sunrise. And now, he was lost. His joy and happiness was taken away as soon as Woohyun fall in the deep sleep.

“Myungsoo hyung. Let’s go. Woohyun is not going to be happy seeing you like this” Sungjong consoled him, hugging him from the side.

Sungjong was the youngest but he has the strongest heart. He loves his hyung and he wanted to cry, but he can’t. Not when he has to see how hurt Myungsoo was feeling right now.

“Sungjong is right Myungsoo-ah. Come. Let’s go back home.” Hoya said as he grabbed his friend's shoulder and pulled him up from the ground- slowly, not hurting the latter.

Myungsoo obligated and turned to Dongwoo who was still crying his tears from the lost. Myungsoo quickly went to him and hugged his friend for support. Feeling the younger’s pain, Dongwoo wrapped his arms around him, hugging him back, and saying strong words to keep him alive. He is in better place now Myungsoo. We need to survive, Dongwoo whispered.

Myungsoo buried his face in Dongwoo’s shoulder, but after he glanced up and gaze towards Sungkyu, he pushed away Dongwoo to the side and walked to the elder.

“You! You said he will make it! You promised me he will survive!” Myungsoo shouted as he kept pushing and pulling Sungkyu shirt, pounding on his chest.

“Myungsoo, I-I..s-orry”

Myungsoo broke down on his knees and he cried hard in front him. It’s pained to see him like this. Myungsoo was indeed hurt, but Sungkyu couldn’t save him. How much he wanted to hug the younger, telling him that he has him for support, but his heart kept telling him that it was his fault that he couldn’t save Woohyun. It was his fault that Myungsoo was hurting too much right now.

“Myungsoo. Please stop. Come on... Let’s go” Dongwoo said as his stood beside him, helping him up and walked towards the gate with Sungjong and Hoya following from behind.

“I’m sorry on behalf of Myungsoo just now. He still can’t accept it yet. I’m Sungyeol” He introduced himself after seeing Sungkyu standing still in his place even after Myungsoo left.

Sungkyu gave him a small smile and slowly replied “I’m Sungkyu”

“Woohyun told me a lot about you Sungkyu. He said he was glad having you as his doctor because you treat him well and always cheers him on the bad days. And listen… About Myungsoo. He needs time to recover from the pain. It will take time, but I’m sure later on he will find a way to overcome it. I have known Myungsoo since we were kids, and I’m sure he will not handle it well. But I’m sure if my friends and I stayed by his side, he will be back to normal in anytime soon, so don’t worry about it too much” Sungyeol said as he gave him a bittersweet smile and patted him on the shoulder before he started to leave.

“Wait!” Sungkyu shouted, making Sungyeol turned back to him.

“I want to help him. I promised Woohyun” he said while looking down on the ground. Sungyeol smiled and motioned him to follow him. “Let’s go” Sungyeol said and Sungkyu smiled back.

“Sungkyu is a great guy for him and I’m sure he will be able to take care of Myungsoo once I’m gone. And I know Sungkyu is in love with him” Sungyeol remembered what Woohyun said on his last visit to the ward.

~~~∞~~~

Myungsoo sat on his couch, observing the room of his apartments. It felt so different. There’s no more Woohyun’s laughter, no more Woohyun greasiness and definitely no more Woohyun. He turned his gaze to the kitchen and the scene of him and Woohyun baking cookies comes across his mind. His mind playing back the memories of them, bickering about who’s the greatest chef that ending up with Woohyun winning and Myungsoo losing. He remembered how he pouted and soon Woohyun threw him a handful of flour in his face, making the younger yelped from the shocked. Myungsoo wanted to get back his revenge so he grabbed some flour from the table and before he was about to throw them, Woohyun grabbed his wrist and planted a chaste kiss on his lips making he stopped and melted through the kiss.

“Myungsoo”

Myungsoo turned and felt himself being pulled into an embrace of his best friend. It’s comforting. Hugs usually made him feel safe, feel occupied, but not this time- it wasn’t the same. It’s not Woohyun.

“Sungyeol.. He’s g-gone” He cried, fisting his hand on Sungyeol chest.

Sungyeol tighten his embrace and smoothen the latter’s back. He knows Myungsoo for a long time. And he surely knows him long enough to know how to comfort the younger. Woohyun once thought that Sungyeol and Myungsoo were dating back in the days, because, seeing the close skinship showed for each other, anyone can tells and makes an assumption that they were. But it’s the opposite. Sungyeol was straight and had fallen in love with a girl named Bora and Woohyun sighed in relived.

Sungyeol hugged him because that’s the only way to calm his best friend. “I’m here, Myungsoo. Cry as much as you wanted to. I’m here.”

And so he did. Sungyeol needed to be brave for him, but he can’t stop himself from falling tears seeing how much his best friend hurts. Myungsoo soon fall asleep in his arm and his friends help to tuck Myungsoo up in his bed.

“So, what are we going to do now?” Hoya asked as he tried to wipe away Myungsoo tears under the dark orbs. “We can’t leave him”

Sungyeol sighed and pull away Myungsoo’s bang from covering his eyes. “I don’t know. We can’t leave him but we also can’t leave the project. Woohyun worked so hard for it and it will be a total waste if we abandoned it.”

2 months before Woohyun was admitted to the ward, he had a project agreed with a well-known music department in Japan. He worked on the lyrics days and nights without any proper break. “This is a chance one in a life time Sungyeol. I can’t fail this” He once said after Sungyeol who tried to persuade him to stop. The works took Woohyun times and energy away. So, as a friend he felt concerned.

“I can take care of him. I will stay here with him here while you guys go to Japan” Dongwoo smiled.

It was a good choice. But Dongwoo also has a bigger problem. His father was in the hospital as well, getting treatment for a cancer and everyone knows how much Dongwoo cares for his family, especially his dad who always give him support in his life.

Sungjong went to Dongwoo side and gave his hyung a hug. “B-but hyung… What about your dad? He needs you”

“And Myungsoo needs me too, Sungjong-ah.. We can’t leave him”

Everyone went silent. It’s the only way to keep Myungsoo sanity from killing himself. In his worst time like this, it’s better for Myungsoo to have someone by his side.

“I will do it” A voice echoed in the room and everyone looked up.

Sungkyu stood by the bedroom door and walked nearer to the bedpost.

Sungkyu smiled and turned to each one of them. “I promised Woohyun I will take care of him”

~~~∞~~~

The first month was horrible for Sungkyu. Every time Sungkyu tried to console the younger, Myungsoo would push him away and told him to go and leave him alone.

“It’s your fault that you can’t save Woohyun! Go away!”

And Sungkyu left.

It had been a month since Myungsoo last stepped outside of his house. A month of him, locking himself in his room. And a month living without Woohyun.

Sungkyu would everyday bought food for Myungsoo and heated them up again when Myungsoo didn’t want to touch.

Even though Myungsoo kept refusing his help and kept hurting him with all the blames, Sungkyu would still give him smiles and accompany the younger from day to night- even from a far.

Sungkyu vowed to himself, that he will never abandon Myungsoo. Not when he had already made the promise to Woohyun. And also not when he falls deeper for the younger.

~~~∞~~~

It was in the middle of the night when Myungsoo felt different. He still cares and loves Woohyun with all of his heart, but the loneliness that he usually felt was gone little by little. It happened on one day when he wanted to get a glass of water. He walked to the kitchen, but he saw someone sleeps on the couch. He wanted to believe that it’s Woohyun but of course it’s not. Woohyun was gone and Myungsoo needed to accept it.

Myungsoo walked closer to the figure lying on the couch and it was Sungkyu. It seemed that he had fallen asleep while doing his works because papers were scribbled all over the coffee table. Myungsoo sat facing him and observe the elder face.

He seemed tired. His eyes had a dark circled which goes noticed on the first look on his face. His hair was a mess and the frown on his face when he’s asleep was the proof on how bad the doctor was feeling right now.

Just then, Myungsoo noticed how Sungkyu started to shiver and his hands rubbing against his arms to get some heat from the cold. Only then, Myungsoo noticed that Sungkyu had nothing to cover him despite the cold weather Seoul was having. Myungsoo tried to place his hand on Sungkyu forehead and quickly pulled back. Sungkyu was burning hot.

Myungsoo sighed and walked back to the kitchen.

When Sungkyu woke up, his head felt damp. He tried to touch it and his hand freeze from the cold. Someone had put on an ice bag on Sungkyu’s forehead while he’s asleep. And he also noticed the warm blanket covered him all night. He got up into a sitting position and saw a warm coffee on the table. His papers were all organized and he didn’t remember clean them up last night.

Myungsoo… Is the only person he could think of right now.

Sungkyu smiled and take the cup in his hand and has the taste of the warm coffee. It felt so nice. The coffee and the feeling of someone taking care of him and even though his feelings was not at the right time to think about right now, but Sungkyu was glad that the person he truly loves was actually taking care of him.

Sungkyu got up and made his way to Myungsoo bedroom. He slowly opened a tiny crack of the door and his eyes caught the love of his life sleeping peacefully on his king-size bed.

Is it wrong? Is it wrong to feel joy spending time with the person you love the most when sadly the person you loves was in a deep depression after losing someone he loves? If only he could win Myungsoo’s heart and take away all the sadness that he’s feeling right now and changed it to happiness instead. If Myungsoo was truly his, he will make Myungsoo smiles again and never let him experience another heart break. Sungkyu loves him and Sungkyu definitely won’t ever hurt him.

Sungkyu sat on the floor and placed an arm to support his chin on the bed. Myungsoo haven’t changed much even after high school. He’s still the visual where everyone wants him. His eyes were still as pure as ever, he noise was so pointy that Sungkyu might get hurt touching them. Sungkyu chuckled. He really imagines getting cut from the pointy noise that he really wants to touch. And those lips… Those lips that he eager to taste ever since his eyes first caught them. He wanted to taste the lips and see whether it would perfectly fit in his own lips as well. How they would meld together and taste each other sweetness. He wants to kiss him just once and so he did.

Sungkyu leaned close and slowly peck the latter’s lips. He pulled back a little too quickly once he realized what he had done. But he won’t regret it. Even from the small peck, Sungkyu hearts fluttered in beyond he can imagine. It felt nice. Although it was short, it was long enough for Sungkyu to taste the desire lips that he had been dreaming of.

Myungsoo was still in his deep slumber. So it’s true. Back in the high school, he overheard from Myungsoo’s close friend that Myungsoo was the worst in his sleep. Nothing can wake him up even if there’s an earthquake. That’s why Sungkyu was braver to kiss him. If an earthquake didn’t wake him up, for sure a simple kiss won’t do any damage.

But unfortunately, Sungkyu was wrong.

After Sungkyu left the room, Myungsoo slowly opened his eyes and his hand touched his lips where Sungkyu just kissed him.

Myungsoo was not mad and he was not happy either. He was confused.

~~~∞~~~

The next day, Sungkyu make sure to brew a nice cup of coffee to the younger. The rain hasn’t stopped since last night and the loud thunder and the storm were enough to make Sungkyu hide underneath the blanket. The younger wasn’t awake yet so he made sure to leave a note saying “I’m off to work. Please drink the coffee and eat the food”- like he usually does.

That night, was a freezing night. The weather was getting worse, with the wind blew like there’s no more tomorrow, the dark clouds shielding the light, and thunder fighting for powers up in the dark sky.

Sungkyu made his way to the door and slowly opened it. Usually, Dongwoo would be there or maybe Sungyeol too, but not tonight. Everyone was quite busy with their works and so that left Sungkyu all alone tonight with Myungsoo.

He would be lying if he said that he was not nervous. Who wouldn’t be when you are alone with your crush. But it’s a different story with Sungkyu. Because his crush, doesn’t know he's feeling and probably his crush, would never comply with his sincere love.

Sungkyu walked to the couch where he usually sleeps. He was surprised that his usual pillows and blankets weren’t there. Did Myungsoo throw them away? Did Myungsoo really hates him so much to do that?

Soon, he heard a cracked voice coming from the bedroom. “You’re home?”

Sungkyu was speechless. He barely heard Myungsoo voice talking to him. So, it’s new for him to actually speak to him.

“It’s cold outside. So, you can come and sleep in the bedroom tonight.” Myungsoo hesitated. “… if you wanted to”

“Would you want me to?” Sungkyu managed to ask.

Myungsoo didn’t say anything, instead he opened his door slightly wide for Sungkyu to enter.

“I already arranged your pillows, and you should take a shower first before going to bed” Myungsoo said as he made his way to the same bed.

Sungkyu again was speechless. But he couldn’t deny that he felt happy with how Myungsoo treated him now. All the pain he had held all this while was bearable, as long as he could feel this happy feeling being with the one he loves.

After a quick shower, Sungkyu made his way to the bed. Myungsoo was already tucked up in his sleep and Sungkyu was mesmerized with the angelic guy of Kim Myungsoo. Never in his life, he would imagine that he would be able to sleep in the same bed as his crush and now, he is the happiest man alive.

He slowly sat on the bed and lay down to face the younger. He looked so peaceful in his sleep. Sungkyu pulled his blanket up to his chest and ready to fall asleep too. But suddenly, he felt a shift on his side, and felt an arm circling his waist in a tight hug.

“My..ungsoo?” He tried to ask, sounding a lot more nervous.

Myungsoo looked up to him and blinked at him twice, before snuggling back in the elder chest. “I want to sleep”

Sungkyu smiled. It’s not that he would refuse. Instead, he wrapped his arms around the younger waist and drew him closer.

Both of them fell asleep.

~~~∞~~~

The next day, the sun began to shine. The dark clouds slowly leaving the sky and welcomed the sun to the city. 

Sungkyu opened his eyes and tried to recover a clear sight. He rubbed his eyes and was surprised to see the sight of Myungsoo looking straight at him.

It was rather awkward.

“Morning..” Sungkyu said, trying to break the silence.

But Myungsoo didn’t respond.

Only then, he noticed that his arms were still on Myungsoo waist so he brushed them off and decided to leave the bed instead.

But before he could manage to stand up, Myungsoo hold his wrist and pulled him back down on the bed, making their face an inches away from each other.

“Why are you still here after I have treated you so bad?”

Sungkyu froze. What should he say? That he loves him? And want to be by his side forever? Or should he just lie like nothing ever happened?

But he’s laying on the bed, with Myungsoo close to him. Isn’t this what he had always wanted? What about Woohyun? Would Woohyun be happy when the person he trusted, suddenly hit on his boyfriend? But, just for one in his life, Sungkyu wanted to be selfish. He wanted to grab the chance. He wanted to think about his happiness too once in a while. And this could be the start.

“ Because I love you” He said and close the gap between their lips.

He expected for Myungsoo to push him, but no, instead he can feel that Myungsoo responded to the kiss and Sungkyu gladly deepen. Sungkyu tilted his head a little to have a better control, and Myungsoo let him. He let Sungkyu bit his lower lips and enter his tongue in his mouth to explore more.

They kiss for a brief moment and stopped to catch their breathe.

“I can-t promise to love you now bu-“

“I know” Sungkyu cut him off and kissed a sweet peck on the lip. “I will wait. I know you still love Woohyun and I wouldn’t force you to forget him. I just want you to let me love you and be the ones to make you smile again”

Myungsoo eyes began to tear, but he managed to give Sungkyu a sweet smile. “Thank you” He said and close the gap between them once more and gave him another sweet kiss on the lips.


End file.
